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      18 Aug 2011

      I left my email open at work yesterday.

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      Yesterday I left my personal email open on a work computer when I left the office to do a rental. My boss decided to have some fun. He started writing a letter to everyone in my address book. Luckily my gmail signed him out before he could finish the email. I found it in my drafts last night. I thought I would share it with you.

       

      Subject: Ronald McDonald

      Hi all,

      I'm sure by now many of you have noticed I am growing my hair out again.  There is a strategy behind this and it will require your help to get the desired end result.  On April 14th of 2012, McDonald's will be replacing the current Ronald McDonald clown with a more consumer friendly "real-life" character.  That character will be me.  But in order to accomplish this I need your help.  Please

       

      A few weeks ago my other boss left his personal email open and wasn't so lucky. An email actually got sent from "him". Here is that email.

       

      Subject: Important

      Hi all,

      I am writing to let you know effective immediately I am starting my own woodworking company.  I will be exclusively making dressers with no drawers and cabinets with no doors.  Call me if this sounds like a good business plan and are willing to invest a minimum $10,000 to my company.  Cash only please.  Thanks

      -Michael

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      18 Jul 2011

      My life on the interwebs, my new strategy, and what it is all about.

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      I have been exploring the interwebs for as long as I can remember. As I look back I could probably tell you what I was doing on the internet at any given age.

      -When I was in the 2nd grade I went to Take-Your-Kid-To-Work-Day with my dad. We had a 56k modem at home (that is pretty much all anyone had back then, if they even had internet) but my dad's work had a T1 internet line. I spent a large part of the day on various Power Ranger fan sites. I spent so much time surfing for info about the Mighty Morphers that my Dad asked if I was even paying attention to what he was doing. I listed off what all the faders were on the soundboard from left to right.
      -Sometime shortly after that I made my first Geocities page.
      -In 6th and 7th grade my online activity was mostly on a message board for the band Barrage, my favorite band at the time.
      -The beginning of 8th grade marked my entrance into the world of instant messaging. I had a crush on agirl from camp. She asked me if I had MSN-IM. I didn't but I said I already did and quick made an account, just to talk to her.
      -I started my first blog in the 9th grade from the Moorhead High School library. It was after school, Knowledge Bowl practice had finished early and I was waiting until it was time for my mom to come pick me up.
      -I joined Facebook the first day it was open to Northwestern College students and I was on Twitter before a lot of my friends even knew what it was.
      -Just a few weeks ago I joined Google+, a new social networking site with great potential. It has some awesome features and some things it still needs to tweak a little to perfect. I am excited to see how it develops. With the recent addition of Google+ to my online arsenal I am changing my strategy for the internet.

      Until now I mostly posted everything everywhere. My twitter was the same as my blog which was the same as my facebook. That is all about to change. My postings on the web are going to be diversified. Different aspects for each site according to its best functions. My website is going to be just for my bigger posts, real blogs, not micro blogs. If you want to know about the day to day happenings of my life, funny things I overhear, or little things that happen to me then you should follow me on Twitter. If you want to see all the fun things I find on the internet, hilarious videos, new gadgets,  or whatever else the internet holds check out my Google+. I am going to use Facebook less for posting things and more for actual communication with others, messages and walls and whatnot.

      I think all these services (and plenty of other ones) are just trying to mimic the way we connect with people in real life. They try to replicate our relationships and imitate our interactions. Even though none of these services are as good as real life, face to face, actual hanging out, some of them have some pretty nice features. There are plenty of people I wish I could see more, sometimes schedules get in the way, sometimes distance, sometimes I don't know why it happens I just don't see someone in forever, but thanks to the wonders of technology in the age we live in we can still connect. That's what it is all about, connecting with each other.

      So hit me up on the Interwebs. Friend me, follow me, circle me, whatever you want to call it.
      Let’s connect.

       

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      19 Jul 2010

      After being gone for a week my google reader has 1234 unread items.

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      15 Apr 2010

      The Alot is Better Than You at Everything

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      <Great tips for dealing with bad grammer on the internet from Hyperbole and a Half>

      As a grammatically conscientious person who frequents internet forums and YouTube, I have found it necessary to develop a few coping mechanisms.  When someone types out "u" instead of "you," instead of getting mad, I imagine them having only one finger on each hand and then their actions seem reasonable.  If I only had one finger on each hand, I'd leave out unnecessary letters too.

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      If I come across a person who seems to completely ignore the existence of apostrophes and capital letters and types things like "im an eagle and im typing with my talons, so dont make fun of me cuz this is hard," I like to imagine that they actually they actually are an eagle typing with their talons.  It would be a hassle if you had to hop in the air and use your feet to karate- chop two keys simultaneously every time you wanted to use the shift key to make a capital letter.   Also, eagles lack manual dexterity, so I can understand why they'd want to leave out apostrophes.  Eagles are all about efficiency.

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      But there is one grammatical mistake that I particularly enjoy encountering.  It has become almost fun for me to come across people who take the phrase "a lot" and condense it down into one word, because when someone says "alot," this is what I imagine:

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      The Alot is an imaginary creature that I made up to help me deal with my compulsive need to correct other people's grammar.  It kind of looks like a cross between a bear, a yak and a pug, and it has provided hours of entertainment for me in a situation where I'd normally be left feeling angry and disillusioned with the world.
      For example, when I read the sentence "I care about this alot," this is what I imagine:

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      Similarly, when someone says "alot of _______", I picture an Alot made out of whatever they are talking about.  

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      If someone says something like "I feel lonely alot" or "I'm angry alot," I'm going to imagine them standing there with an emo haircut, sharing their feelings with an Alot.

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      The Alot is incredibly versatile.

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      So the next time you are reading along and you see some guy ranting about how he is"alot better at swimming than Michael Phelps," instead of getting angry, you can be like "You're right!  Alots are known for their superior swimming capabilities."

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    My thoughts:
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